Last Rites in the City of Eagle’s.

First Pakistani funeral was a combination of community outreach set against the backdrop of spirituality and sparsity. I drove into the house that my Aunt had lived in for over half a century, my usual welcome of her reaching for the remote to lower the hum drum of Indian soaps, to a room full of people praying and consoling was a stark contrast.

My Aunt had died the night before in her sleep, as with Muslim custom she was buried within 24 hours, I was presented with my Janazah first (funeral) and no chance of reaching there in time.I had to say goodbye whilst wrapping my head around a set of customs which I had little experience of as a non-practicing Muslim.

The charpai (day bed) she sat on was replaced with a plethora of chairs and stools that were as mismatched as the number of people that had gathered to pay their respect at the pori (Muslim wake constructed of prayer and paying respect to loved ones). Women were reciting prayers on pieces of dry nuts, as a counting mechanism, the drops of seeds neatly juxtaposed with stories of family life.

I witnessed the sadness in their eyes, as the women there all felt a connection sharing stories of those that have passed, alongside their present economic and health-related insecurities. The air in the veranda was very hot, the temperature represented the challenges of continuous load shedding whilst maintaining the customs of the mourning period.

I met my mother in my Aunt’s bedroom, she wasn’t expecting me to be here so soon, her surprise was met with tears. As I hugged her, I felt the loss she was experiencing I wasn’t close to my aunt, however as someone that is very close to her sisters I couldn’t imagine burying a sibling, especially as unexpected as this was. The relationship between my mother and her sister was based upon geographic separation in conjunction with an immense love for the family, and the dynamics of sibling contention. My Aunt was not conventional she was not married and fought against the mainstream, she was steadfast and always stood up for the voiceless.

My mother was responsible for the required shrouding and washing, whereby family members perform the ghusl wash the deceased with scented water similar to when they prepare for prayer, and then wrap the body in kafan (clean white cloth). This ceremonial preparation presents little time for emotion, as my mother recounted;

“It was an extraordinary experience, but as I wrapped my sister I felt assurance she was fully prepared for the afterlife, I wanted to give her the care in her final moments before being buried”

These words were delivered without reticence but affirmation that she had met her sister’s needs.

The men and women were sat in separate areas of the house as is common in conservative Muslim communities. The men were served various sodas, and chai as they sat in the outdoor marquees, and shared tales of funerals attended in recent times, coming to terms of those that have passed, the narratives were dispersed with phone calls from colleagues from their agricultural businesses. The Punjab is the breadbasket of Pakistan it should mean health, wealth and happiness but the faces of the men stated otherwise, the dehshatgardi murdabad (death to terrorism) hasn’t taken place therefore a new fear has taken hold in the everyday routine.

I sat with the women in the veranda, the humidity in the air was constantly shifted by the whirring fans. I listened to their narratives of family dysfunction, that is marked by the changing habits of their children that are experiencing their own evolution as millennials.

The hurdles of living in present day Pakistan that is experiencing its own push- pull politically but also the personal becomes political. From their conversations I ascertained that men are exerting such levels of executive control in regards to marriages of their children through to financials and education. Therefore, their long term objective as women is to provide solutions to overcome the increasing levels of patriarchal oscillation.

The recent honour killing in Sargodha echoes the need for the rights of women to be the on the government’s agenda, but as currently Nawaz Sharif’s administration does not advocate legislation against honour killings.

The women here are incredibly brave as you have to be living in a difficult environment, where the simple act of going to the bazaar unaccompanied is still unacceptable in some households. However, there has been a push to reclaim egality in terms of labour division in the home whereby several of the working women I spoke to are dividing the chores with their husbands. “My husband and I divide the cooking when I have to collect the textiles from chak (village)” said Muqadas.

“My husband and I divide the cooking when I have to collect the textiles from chak (village)” said Muqadas.

The experience of religion in Pakistan is a full immersion in the practices of the Qur’an;community outreach in times of loss is remarkable. My Mamu (uncle) was responsible for providing a meal for every mourner, and local residents that were aware of the passing of my aunt. The relatives serve a communal meal on behalf of the dead person to seek God’s mercy and forgiveness, as the passing of my Aunt was announced in several mosques across two provinces the number of mourners was significant. The duty to exercise Islamic convention is imperative due to the confounding nature of blasphemy laws in the country.

The cost of a funeral differs depending on the province, however, the average cost in Punjab is 3,900 rupees which includes death certificate, post mortem, morgue use for 24 hours and grave digging. An additional Rs.25,000 for a marble gravestone in Lahore, the reality of paying for a funeral is very real for Pakistani’s which is increasingly challenging for the underprivileged in Pakistani society as the average income for most pakistani’s is $1,400 per annum.

Sargodha the village in which my relatives live in is based upon Islamic pietism and strong support for the army which has a air force base in the town, aptly naming Sargodha the ‘city of eagles’.Locals follow typical rural values but have modernised their way of living with the introduction of technology.

In a society strongly led by the male gender one would expect they would be the one’s increasing their ilm (knowledge) however on the contrary it is the women who are increasing their ilm in fields such as education. The demise of ilm in the country, has led to a situation whereby women are fed latent misogyny from every corner including the media in the form of regressive serial dramas which are directed by marketing machines that regard oppression as a selling mechanism. It is very difficult to see what the male dominated society is fighting for sometimes, as the injustices pile up .

Discussing death is not something I am fluent in, as you grow older it’s something that you have to confront, in Islam, it’s very much part of your present as you are taught to prepare for the next step. The level of emotion in the veranda was palpable, but the conversations are not based on emotions but on practicality due to the androcentric society my female relatives are faced with. Practicality is only the option in events such as this; as Pakistan experiences its own political turmoil, the last rites at a funeral succumb to much more than just tragedy and tears.